Real Estate Investors: Chasing Pretend Cash Flow Surest Path To Pretend Retirement
Posted @ 10:36 pm - Filed under Retirement, seminar, Real Estate Markets, Cash Flow, Retirement Income, Market Correction, Investment Lessons, BawldGuy Axiom
Man, the hucksters are out in force. Been gettin’ emails and phone calls from folks wantin’ me to help them retire in the next 2-4 years through ‘fantastic’ cash flow opportunities in such and such a region. What? Huh? First, let’s ask ourselves a few quick questions.
If we at Brown and Brown could get clients to retirement that quickly, don’t ya think we’d of been braggin’ about it before now? Ya think? Do these magic cash flow properties exist? Well, on paper they do. After that? A whole lotta ‘what the heck is goin’ on here’ is what’s after that.
Seriously, didn’t Grandma tell you about the whole ‘If it sounds too good to be true, it’s probably not’ thing? I’ve literally had over half a dozen conversations this month in which I’ve been questioned about why I won’t fess up about these properties with ATM-like qualities. Wow. What new seminar, Invest In Our Magic Property And Retire Next Tuesday did I miss?
BawldGuy Axiom: Listen to Grandma — she’s been there, lived that.
So let me get this straight. There are properties out there real estate investors can buy for way less than a hundred grand apiece, and they command inordinately high rent while attracting stellar tenants who don’t scare the livin’ #$%^%& outa you, AND they pay on the first of every month like clockwork.
Yeah, and folks move to Scottsdale for the cool summer breezes.
I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be amazed, but I am. I’ve seen this many times before, and it’s almost always towards the end of a market correction. It hurts me when I finish up with these conversations, ‘cuz I’ve had to burst yet another bubble. It’s not the fault of those calling me. How are they supposed to know? They’re told by some guy ’bout rental properties in West Trailer Park, Ohio that dispense cash flow the same way Mrs. Fields puts out cookies. It’d sound good to me too.
Let’s Cut To The Chase
If I knew of well located income property priced at $60,000 each, renting to solid citizens with good credit, for $700-950 a month, my clients would be buyin’ ‘em by the gross. Everybody would. Duh, helllloooo. Talk about the Dollar Store. The average ‘cash on cash’ return coming from these fantasies is 15-25%! Sign me up, Verne. And while yer at it, grab that magic lamp over there, ‘cuz that Genie owes me my third wish.
Rub rub rub. I wish those who keep spinning these tall tales will pay the price they deserve some day.
Both the locations of these properties and the tenant quality they attract (Not!) suck like a brand new Dyson. You have a far better chance of slippin’ a pork chop past a hound dog than retiring on the mutts they’re trying to stick you with. Am I being to subtle here? Maybe a little too opaque? No? Cool.
It’s just not right.
Know what’s right? You gettin’ ahold of me. Retiring next Tuesday ain’t happenin’, so you might as well talk with me, right? Right
We ain’t gonna live forever.
This entry was posted on Friday, June 20th, 2008 at 10:36 pm and is filed under Retirement, seminar, Real Estate Markets, Cash Flow, Retirement Income, Market Correction, Investment Lessons, BawldGuy Axiom. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.