Father’s Day — Being There Matters
Posted @ 10:40 am - Filed under Sez Me
Warning: This post has nothing to do with real estate investing — zip, zero, nada.
First — HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!
Not long ago I realized my model for fatherhood was taken from two examples. One was my own dad, the other was my Uncle Cork. My parents divorced when I was about eight. From then until around 15 or so, I saw Dad an average of about 2-3 times yearly. That was his choice, not mine obviously. He just wasn’t cut out to have kids. He was, in many ways, an incredible guy. Before he was 40, he had already been very successful in two totally different areas. By the time he was my age he’d added a third successful career, and on his terms. His fourth career? For the next 20 years or so he teed off at 12:15 at his golf club with his business buddies.
They all thought they knew him, and not one of them, in my view, had a clue. He made ‘close to the vest’ look like town criers. Did I learn about real estate from him? Yes, but not nearly as much as most folks think. Was he wildly successful in real estate? How many people do you know who made $400,000 a year in the 60’s? In today’s market that would be $5MIL give or take.
He just wasn’t meant to be a parent.
My Uncle Cork? Talk about stepping up to the plate, this guy’s picture should be found right next to what that phrase means. I won’t bore you with everything he did to fill in for an absentee father, but he definitely showed me what it means to be a man and a dad. I’d love to call him today and wish him Happy Father’s Day. The problem is he’s in the later stages of Alzheimer’s. He’s still living in the house he bought in 1962, surrounded by a huge and adoring family.
So Father’s Day isn’t just about those who, by virtue of biology are dads. It’s about those who stepped up to the plate when it was the right thing to do. The guy who made it possible to play Pop Warner football, going from one side of L.A. to another, than back to his family in Orange County. Men who stepped up to the plate when it made life more difficult for them.
Without my Uncle Cork I’m not sure how things would’ve turned out. There’s no way to thank him, except to say he made an enormous difference in one boy’s life. In his 70’s now, he remains one my heroes — a giant among men.
What did I learn about fatherhood from Dad? He wasn’t all bad by any measurement. He was, for the most part, an honorable guy. But from the first day I became a dad myself, the first question I always asked myself was, “What would Dad have done?” and then most of the time did the opposite.
Being there is the foundation of what Dad brings to the table. Knowing that Dad will be there is what our kids rely on most. All the little things we do as dads add up to a lifetime of examples. Do we participate in their lives? Do they know in their hearts Dad is and will always be there for them? That’s what a dad is. He’s there.
And he’s there because — being there matters.
Happy Father’s Day to all those who’ve been there. You are all heroes.
And Uncle Cork — If folks think about me half of what they think of you, I’ll be a happy guy.
This entry was posted on Sunday, June 17th, 2007 at 10:40 am and is filed under Sez Me. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.